It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
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