Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
