Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
