I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
