a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
