I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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