I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
