Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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