It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
