Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
