She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
two words...techno handjob
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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