I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
