Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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