I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Randomize
