i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
