spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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