I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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