I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
