why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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