MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
