new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
