You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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