So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
They have beer where we have blood.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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