So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
