I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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