WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
