Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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