he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
