Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
