your thong is hanging out like whoa
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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