I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
