Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
