He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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