No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
