Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
