he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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