Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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