I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
