whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
