I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
