He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
