thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
