Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
