ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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