Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
whose ass print is on the piano?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize