Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Your cock deserves a montage
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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