Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
