it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
