Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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