Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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