I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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